I’m 36 and I’m dreading watching the Leafs play. In my mind I know they should win, My gut tells me they won’t and my heart reels awaiting the inevitable disappointment. It almost feels like a chore but like most chores I must do it. I sit by myself, drink a beer and start my new blog.
I’m in my early 20’s, in my basement, drinking beer with my friends and watching Team Canada play for a gold medal. None of us are jocks – We’re all some combination of art geeks and stoners. We’re dissecting the teams, the play, complaining about what should happen. Canada scores, we can’t help but yell, we hear my dad stomping on the floor upstairs.
I’m six years old. I’ve just moved to Nova Scotia from Toronto and I don’t know anyone. One of my classmates comes over and asks me if I play soccer. I play baseball already, soccer doesn’t interest me but I go with it.
I’m 14, I’m in a new age bracket in baseball. I’m damn good but I’m out of shape and honestly my passion is waivering. The coach took one look at me and put me into the outfield like any other fat kid. I do so well that I end up earning my 1st base spot back actually over the coach’s son. He wants me to come back but I’m done.
I’m in my early 20’s. I get to the tennis court before anyone with all my gear. I sit and watch the leaves blow over the pavement. I listen to the sounds of the wind in the trees and the cars driving down the nearby street. I am one
Sports are kind of a silly thing. You’re playing a game but unlike board games or video games you use your physical fitness as a resource to use. Where it is like other games is that as long as its played, people will learn to perfect it more and more. At high levels, athletes are almost like robots. They train their bodies to be in peak performance and train their skillsets to be as efficient at winning the game as possible. There’s room for fun but for the most part it’s all a system.
Hockey… in Canada… is a system
Canada has always struggled with its “identity”. When you ask someone what defines Canada you get similar answers: Polite people, cold climate, maple syrup, poutine, beer, Tim Horton’s…
Hockey
In Canada it’s hard to escape hockey’s wake. Everyone has some kind of relationship with it in one way or another. Not everyone is into it but everyone understands its significance. For me, it became a tradition. My father was more of a baseball guy but he loved sports, especially Toronto teams since that’s where he was from. I remember being very young and staying up to watch Wendell Clark and crew play Hockey Night in Canada. Even then they disappointed me but they got into my blood. I don’t know if it was the Hockey Cards, the poster at school with Dougie Gilmour with the cow legs, my love for my father or all of the above.
Being a Maple Leafs fan is a special kind of neurosis. It’s far and above the largest fan base in the sport and also the most hated. They dominate the narrative due to both the rabid passion of its fans and the matching obsession of the detractors to take them down a peg. On the ice they always seem to get you just hopeful enough that this time they’ve finally broken their old, disappointing ways and then the trap door pops open and you hang. Year after year this happens and year after year we come back because we must.
I’ve always said that nationalism in relation to your country is unhealthy but nationalism in sports is wonderful. It’s not dissimilar to violence, gore, and hyper sexuality in media where it essentially gives you an outlet to scratch and itch that would be unhealthy to do so in the real world. You pick the blue team and you love them as they were your own family. Their adventures are your adventures, their triumphs are your triumphs and their failures are your failures. Loving the leafs is full of sadness and heartbreak but it enriches your life in a way that’s truly unique.
On the other hand, Hockey is also a huge business. A business that has a place reserved in the hearts and minds of an entire country – not a bad way to make some money eh? In a way, much like Tim Horton’s (founded by a legendary Maple Leaf, ironically), they’re essentially co-opting Canadian culture to fill their profit margins and no one seems to care. I consider myself a fairly radical leftist but for some reason I just don’t care.
My father passed away in April of 2020. He was 84 and he remembered the Leafs from the 50s and 60s when they actually won quite a lot. When I was 9 the Blue Jays won the world series back to back years and that was a big moment for my whole family. It makes me sad that he was able to see the rise of Matthews and co. on the Leafs but didn’t make it long enough to see them win again. He did manage to see the Raptors win so I’m happy about that. At the end, dad would give me updates about the blue jays and I didn’t really care but I loved that he did, so I would give him leafs updates. My kids are still young but they do know daddy likes hockey and I’ll unashamedly indoctrinate them into rooting the blue team because, well, they’re family.
Hockey is silly, hockey is fake patriotism, hockey is a distraction from what’s important, hockey is passion, hockey is nostalgia, hockey is a vice, hockey is zen, hockey is community, Hockey is a triumph, hockey is true patriotism…
Hockey is family
Seasons Pass 